Why you think he might be gay: It is long-standing tradition that the quarterback of whatever football team you hate is gay. Troy Aikman, Peyton Manning, Joe Montana—all so totally gay, according to various people sitting next to us at the bar watching Monday Night Football. Jeff Garcia isn't helped by the fact he comes off a little… ”festive” at times, which was pointed out rather ungraciously by former teammate Terrell Owens in a 2004 interview. Though we can't exactly blame him there. We recommend the Wheel of Fortune clip.
Why he's not: Earlier this year Garcia married long time girlfriend and Playboy Playmate Carmella DeCesare. In 2004, Carmella was arrested after karate-kicking one of Garcia's ex-girlfriends during a fight at an Ohio nightclub. The fight allegedly came about because Garcia was having an affair with his ex, and Carmella was so pissed that there were restraining orders involved. All the drama aside, when you've got insanely hot chicks beating the crap out of each other because they both want you so bad, you either really know how to lay the pipe, or you've hired the best beards in the entire universe. Sorry, haters, Terrell's just a whiny bitch. But you knew that already, right?