LETTERMAN'S Top Ten SURPRIZES AT ELLIOT SPITZER'S RESIGNATION SPEECH
10)Entered to the sounds of Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'"
9)Opening line: "Are you a cop?"
8)Spent two minutes seductively stroking the microphone
7)Reaffirmed his policy of "Bro's before Ho's"
6)His decision not to wear pants
5)Admitted he also once made out with former Governor Pataki
4)Credited downfall to fast-paced lifestyle of Albany
3)He was kinda pitchy, dawg
2)Said he thought the Emperor's Club was a Chinese restaurant
1)When reporters asked how much he paid per hour, his wife said, "Believe me, he doesn't need an hour !
AROUND THE LATE NIGHT HORN WITH ELLIOT SPITZER
"Last night, what a horrible audience. It's not so much that they were horrible. They were just quiet. My God, it was like dinner at the Spitzers." --David Letterman
"I guess you heard the big news. Governor Eliot Spitzer, governor of New York, resigned today. He left his resignation on the night table with a $300 tip." --David Letterman
"Now, here's the deal about the tryst down there in a Washington, DC, hotel -- $5,000 and a hotel room. Five grand and a hotel room. And Senator Larry Craig -- you remember Larry from Idaho? He said, 'Well, that's crazy. For two quarters, I can have a pay toilet all night.'" --David Letterman
"Earlier today, the governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, has resigned. In his resignation speech, Spitzer said, 'To whom much has been given, much is expected.' Which is the same thing he said to that $5,000 hooker." --Jay Leno
"Although Spitzer only spoke for 2 minutes and 40 seconds, he still had to pay for the entire hour." --Jay Leno
"He will be the first visually impaired governor in the history of the United States. See, a lot of people thought Bill Clinton was the first blind governor, because he hit on Paula Jones." --Jay Leno
"No, the FBI said they became suspicious after tracking what they call 'questionable transfers of money' from Spitzer's account. See, at first they thought he was hiding bribe money. And then they realized it's highly unlikely that the governor would be bribed by a woman named Cindy Candypants." --Jay Leno
"Our governor, Eliot Spitzer, resigned today. ... And to make things official, Governor Spitzer had to write a letter of resignation to New York's secretary of state. He wrote a letter. Yeah. Out of habit, Spitzer addressed the letter 'Dear Penthouse.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Republican presidential candidate John McCain is in the news. John McCain says he's trying to find a vice presidential running mate. Not only that, McCain is also trying to find his reading glasses and his car keys. ... He's an older gentleman. That's the idea there. You'll be hearing more of those in the next nine months, because that's our take. Until he gets a whore." --Conan O'Brien
"Some of the more sordid details are starting to emerge, supposedly, Spitzer didn't like to wear a condom which I'm sure was just the cherry on top of his wife's cake." --Jimmy Kimmel
EUROPE'S FINEST TOPLESS HONEYS
Eating fresh watermelon could help men pep up their love lives, scientists said yesterday. The fruit has a similar effect to taking Viagra, ...
"Intelligence is the capacity to receive, decode and transmit information efficiently. Stupidity is blockage of this process at any po...
Austria drew first blood early today when their topless women's football team beat Germany 10-5. The traditional swapping of shirts afte...
SHE IS A POTENTIAL F D I L F !!! Meghan McCain is a 23-year-old, socially liberal John Kerry voter who loves Superbad, Dita von Teese, Bud L...
Yes ALL of these women are over 50 years old, sure some of them have had some work, but I mean come on a few are grand mothers (GMILFS)!, a...
SADLY ITS ON IN THE UK ONLY U ndressing the nation: The style gurus strip down to their bras ITV has been bombarded with complaints after a...
A ustralian model Megan Gale has been cast as Wonder Woman and Armie Hammer has been cast as Batman in the upcoming "Justice League of ...
Missed it ? - The Archives !
- ► 2010 (80)
- ► 2009 (319)
- BOB HOPE - ARE ZOMBIES LIKE REPUBLICANS ?
- AL QAEDA DEBUNKS 911 CONSPIRACY THEORIES
- TOP 5 FHM 2008 CALENDER GIRLS !
- BUSH HEARS THE FIRST AMENDMENT EXERCISED !
- KEITH RICHARDS LIKES TO GET HIGH ???
- KEVIN SPACEY DOES IMPRESSIONS ! ! !
- WORLDS OLDEST RECORDING - APRIL 10TH 1860 !
- OOOOHHHH, YYYYEAHHH ! ! !
- SARAH LARSON - WILD & CRAZY DAYS ???
- DAKOTA JOHNSON - CELEBRITY OFFSPRING
- HILARY CLINTON - CALL OF DUTY ???
- MO ROCCA - THE SPRING BREAK VOTERS !
- PARIS HILTON - BELLY DANCES ON TURKISH TV
- SIMONA FUSCO - BIKINI ISSUES ???
- WHAT IS THE TITS BUILDING ???
- RON BURGANDY INTERVIEWS JESUS ???
- YouTube Yobs - chase top video off the charts ???...
- CRUZ SISTERS - PENELOPE & MONICA
- ELIZABETH HURLEY - STILL GOT IT ?
- KELLY BROOK - NUTS MAGAZINE
- SUPER SIZED (235LB) BALLERINAS ???
- ANNA KORNIKOVA - ERICSSON OPEN
- STRANGE VIRAL VIDEO HILARY CLINTON SPOOF ?
- HO NO !!! NOT AGAIN ???
- ADRIANA LIMA - NUDE IN APRIL GQ !
- BOYS - BEWARE OF FRIENDLY STRANGERS !
- DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB ! ! !
- VINTAGE NEW YORK SKYSCAPER FUN ! ! !
- FINALLY - AN ELECTRIC CIGARETTE ???
- MARILYN MONROE - FIRST SCREEN APPEARANCE (1949)
- ALEXANDRA AMBROSIA - DELICIOSA ! ! !
- THE LIONS vs THE WATER BUFFALOES
- KEELEY HAZELL - TOPLESS CANDIDS !
- OMG - THEY ARE ALL RELATED ! ! !
- ASHLEY ALEXANDRA "KRISTEN" DUPRE YOUMANS ?
- CLAUDIA SCHIFFER - APRIL GQ
- DELTALINA - DELTA'S HOT PRE FLIGHT INFO BABE !
- SPENCER TUNICK - FOUR SEASONS - NYC
- THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT PRINTER INK !
- WHAT DETERMINES EASTER DAY ???
- JESSICA ALBA- GOTHAM MAGAZINE - MAY 2008
- MARIAH CAREY - THE WEIRD AL INTERVIEW
- ANOTHER "REGULAR GUY " RAPPER ???
- EASTER IMAGES - AROUND THE WORLD !
- THE LAST SUPPER - POP CULTURE EDITION !
- PEEP SHOW !
- MORE CUTE ANIMAL PHOTOS ! ! !
- RON MEUCK - REALISTIC SCULPTURES
- GEMMA ATKINSON - LOADED MAGAZINE
- CHLOE MARSHALL - PLUS SIZE (16) BEAUTY
- ASHLEY ALEXANDER DUPRE - US MAGAZINE
- SIGNS FROM BEIJING - BAD CHINGLISH ?
- SPITZER - MCGREEVEY - PATTERSON "LATE NIGHT JOKES"...
- THE JACK NICHOLSON COOKOO CLOCK ???
- LENINGRAD COWBOYS & THE RED ARMY CHOIR "SWEET HOME...
- ASHLEY DUPRE - MORE WILD & CRAZY GIRL PIX
- MACHINE ELIMINATES THE NEED FOR HUMANS ?
- MEET MEGHAN MCCAIN - DADDY'S GIRL ?
- GISELE BUNDCHEN - NUDE !
- BULGARIAN IDOL - ??? " WHOSE BAD" ???
- PHOTOSHOP DISASTERS ! ! !
- WHAT IS ZEITGEIST ???
- ASHLEY "KRISTEN" DUPRE - GONE WILD ???
- JENNIFER ANISTON - BIKINI FRIENDLY !
- PENIS FESTIVAL - ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN !
- R E M & THE MUPPETS "FURRY HAPPY MONSTERS"
- SPACE TOY COMMERCIALS OF THE 1970'S !
- THE SUNDAY AFTERNOON SONG ???
- JOE ROGAN - THE MYSTERIES OF EGYPT
- ROBERT PLANT JAMS WITH LOCAL POLICE (1989)
- PAM ANDERSON - DEFIES GRAVITY ???
- CROP CIRCLES ? NO COCAINE CIRCLES ! ! !
- CAUTION - ROAD CLOSED FOR TOAD F**CKING ?
- WORLDS MOST EXPENSIVE CELLPHONE ?
- JERRY SIENFELD TELLS JOHNNY CARSON ABOUT HIS NEW S...
- SKIPPY SHOWS US HIS "METAL FACE" !!!
- IMPROV EVERYWHERE- FOODCOURT MUSICAL
- MISS PHILLIPINES CONTESTANT "FAMILY ISSUES" ?
- ST PATRICKS DAY - IRISH IMAGES !
- HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY ! 2008
- MCGREEVEY'S AIDE STRIKES BACK ! ! !
- HOW IRISH IS O'BAMA REALLY ???
- IRAQ WAR HEARINGS - SNACK BREAK ???
- KIM KARDASHIAN - BACKSTAGE - LA FASHION WEEK
- JAPANS GREATEST INFOMERCIAL EVER ! ! !
- ELIOT'S KRISTEN - THE PERFECT BUSINESS MODEL ??
- Finally, Dutch say animal sex illegal !!!
- MADONNA - WILL NOT GO AWAY ! ! !
- PAPARAZZI PUMMELED BY NICOLE KIDMANS BODY GUARD !
- CLASSYCAT DOLLS - LA FASHION WEEK
- LESLIE & THE LY'S - ZOMBIE ZILLER ?
- ZIVITY - NAKED NETWORKING !!!
- HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY ! - SERIOUSLY ?
- ASHLEY ALEXANDER DUPREE "KRISTEN"
- MORE ELIOT SPITZER JOKES PLEASE !
- THE INCREDIBLE HULK 2008 - TRAILER !
- ELIOT SPITZER - A COMEDIANS WET DREAM !
- ELIOT SPITZER - THE PASSION OF POLITICS ?
- WHO NEEDS A MOVIE - CANADAS GREATEST LOCAL AD !
- AMANDA OVERMYER - NAKED IDOL ???
- ▼ March (159)